The Best Landlady

Hey there. It’s me your former tenant; remember?

I used to live in your place 21 years ago.

I’ve just come back to say thanks again.

I’m more grateful for your care than you’ll never know.

 

I was broke without a penny to my name.

The warmth you offered to this day is unrivalled.

Offering me your inner room without shame.

Prepared for me long before my arrival.

 

You fed me well too.

All free of charge!

As a former tenant of your womb.

I can confirm you are the best landlady.

 

 

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An Example Of Excellent Parenting

This is why I cannot accept defeat in failure

In the summer of 2006 (normally winter in the northern hemisphere) my parents attended their first Parent – Teacher Consultation at my new school. I’d moved a few months prior and had just received the worst report card in my, then short, academic life. Their response to the ordeal they faced is just one of many reasons why I feel blessed to be their son.

The backdrop of the story is this. I’d previously attended a government run school for the first four years of my primary education. Consisting of nearly fifty students a class it was quite competitive at the top end. Yet with their influence, great teaching and, I believe, some natural talent (as well as ‘luck’) a young Ayanda Joe Munikwa came top of the class on three separate occasions in the four years I was there. The joy of my first prize giving ceremony will come later, maybe tomorrow?  We’ll see. Anyway I’d been moved to a private school. My parents had invested a great deal of money because they wanted what was best for me. Personally in their shoes I would have bought a new car, tv or something; but not them. They did this only to see me failing at nearly everything I touched. I was below mediocre. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was so confused at the time I thought “dictionary” and “diary” were synonymous (story filed for yet another day). It seemed like nothing was going according to plan.

So with all this having occurred, my parents dressed smartly for the Consultation. If you thought I was a fish out of water, you should have seen their more than slightly nervous expressions as they exchanged looks. They looked gorgeous by the way, no bias. Anyway they headed in to the classroom at their appointed time to meet my teacher; The One Who Shall Not Be Named.

I’m sure you picked up the Voldermort link. I still talk to one of my closest friends, who was in the same class with me back then, about him. Maybe it was the stress of twenty odd kids looking fresh faced and seeming not to understand anything. Or maybe it was the stress of the impending inflation that was even then gnawing at every working adult’s pockets. Maybe he was just naturally bitter and mean. But boy did he love taking it out on us and anyone he came across. His personality was as blunt as his face, but I appreciate him now because even he has turned around. (A story for ANOTHER day)

The man I spoke of above was the man they were going to meet. I was convinced he hated me. When they came back and told me what he had said I was even more convinced. Apparently I was “beyond help” and, to put it bluntly, “stupid”. He was also perplexed as to how I passed the entrance exam in the first place. I was apparently one of his worst students. While they recounted his words I could see in their eyes two things, pain being one of them. But even deeper, even at that young age I could see it, the second thing, resolution.

“I know you. You’re my intelligent boy! My genius! Maybe you didn’t do so well this time but I trust you more than I trust this teacher. Final exams are coming up. Go show them what you’re made of.”

I didn’t cry in their presence, even then I tended not to do that. But I did when I was alone in my room afterwards. Then I made a conscious decision to kick ass in school, prove my parents right and my teacher wrong.

Needless to say I came first. Every year for the next three years of my primary school education. Even when they introduced streaming in the sixth grade where the “top students” from both classes were merged into a separate class. Oh I also broke their (then) recent record for the National Exam. This isn’t me just mollycoddling my ego, this is just to prove a point. None of those meagre achievements would have been possible if my parents had chosen to withdraw their love and support.

Sure there are different ways to approach the problem – the problem of my plummeting grades after sending me to a supposedly better school. But I believe they chose the right way, not only because of the exam results that followed but because of the opinion of them that was formed in my mind that day… one I still hold to this very day. And one I hope to inspire in my own children in the future.

Learn This My Son

“Learn this my son: they are called “loved ones” for a reason. Love them with all your heart. Say you love them as often as you can, show that you love them always. Put them first before yourself. When you are famished offer them food. When you thirst ask if they would like something to drink. This is what a man ought to be. Your family will cherish you for it.

“Learn this my son: it is called hard work because it is hard. Is what you are doing hard? Then you’re probably doing it right. Persevere! Do not shirk away from your duty. Chip at it like the mason working on his prize sculpture. Remember to always aspire! Visualise, my boy! Plan ahead before you set your chisel against the stone, lest your eagerness ruin the masterpiece long before it is realised. o this and your goals will be achievable.

“Learn this my son: stay away from negative influence. Anything that clouds your judgement blocks your route to success. Read! Surround yourself with people with clear agendas, with goals as high or even greater than your own. Learn from them. In their presence do not speak the loudest, listen the most; this is how you’ll grow.

“Learn this my son: yesterday was yesterday. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow you will be one day closer to heaven than you are today. Do not be afraid! Be excited! You know now that you have limited time… make the most of it! Live every moment! Push as if you’ll never push again. Strive to your maximum at every attempt. Do this and you will have no regrets. Do this and you will be content.

“Learn this my son: laugh. I cannot stress this enough. Laugh! This way the aforementioned ‘Stress’ will not be enough to stop you. Laugh in the face of adversity, your family will cherish you for it. Laugh, for that is how they will know they will get through it. Laugh while you do all that I have tried to teach you and your days shall be long and joyful…

“Learn this my son: I am but a man and I teach what I have witnessed with my own eyes. Your true guide awaits you to find Him. Search for Him for He has knowledge far beyond my capabilities. Learn how to be a father from Him, He is the greatest Father of all. He will help you find one to share your love an laughter with. He will give you direction and strength. He will show you where opportunities lie. He will endow you with wisdom my boy. My son, do all of this and you will make me undoubtedly proud. Do this and I will be as proud as a man can be.”


“Father; this I have learned and continue to learn day by day. Now these principles reverberate throughout my whole being. I appreciate especially that these are not words uttered by you, Man of Few Words – instead I am learning how to be a good man, a good father in the best possible way… through watching you. It is testament to your great example that I can say with no hesitation. You are a great man, Dad. I love you.