Approx 1 min read
You ever been in a group and wonder why everyone listens to that one dude but not you? Well today we’ll find out a simple trick on how to be heard.
“Come here you stupid little idiot you… You good for nothing maggot… You worthless insignificant brat you.”
“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU’RE SO AMAZING! COME HEAR RIGHT NOW SO I CAN GIVE YOU A KISS!”
There’s something about how we say things that can even alter what others think about what we say. Dogs get this. That’s why the dog in question wagged its tail and was super excited by the first speaker, whose speech was full of evil but delivered with unrivaled gentleness. The same dog ran away from the second speaker. They’re just dogs you may say, they don’t understand language. True, but the fundamental principle doesn’t change. We are attracted to gentle, not abrasive. That’s why we call the places we like to stay “comfort zones”.
Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in a way that makes them look forward to the journey.
If that’s not enough; it’s a popular statement that empty vessels make the most noise. To avoid being classified in this group and to have the words you say treated with the utmost respect and attention, try say less with less volume. You’ll be surprised you’ll be heard all the more.
See you tomorrow.
Approx 1.5 min read
Lips barely opened, I leapt off the edge.
Like a missile bound solely to destroy. Your words were weighty with wisdom; the parachute (in my haste) left behind.
The fast approaching ground is my life, green, luscious, alive – for now.
At least until my imminent crash…
I will be honest (as ever). The art of listening is something I’m still working on, especially when it’s in line with being corrected. (Ugh!t Why can’t I be is right all the time?) There this no denying though listening is perhaps the most essential aspect of being a good communicator. For one thing, it helps prevent saying dumb stuff.
Simple advice to prevent yourself from saying things you might regret. So simple in fact you’ve heard it before. Ready? Count to ten. That’s it. Do the count as slowly as you’re willing. This will help with a few things.
One, the urge to blurt out the first thing you wanted to say (instinctive emotional reaction) should have subsided. Two, you are better able to frame your response intelligently. Three, the person on the receiving end will be forced to acknowledge that you think before you speak and by the “monkey see monkey do” principle will feel pressured to do the same. Lastly, the intensity of your reaction decreases and leans towards being calm. You make decisions you’re least likely to regret when you’re calm.
It’s hard work but the benefits outweigh the pain so much that I have decided to write about it. It will impact your life positively.
As ever, I challenge you. Don’t just believe me, try it yourself.
See you tomorrow!