The “I” In Friends Is For…

Approx 2 min read

The “I” in friends stands for influence. No clickbait… here we get right to the point. The power of positive association cannot be overstated. I plan to illustrate this with three anecdotes.

The power of positive association cannot be overstated.

I have a friend called Bomi, one you could regard as my best friend at a young age. He had this tremendous fascination with children. I hated them. To me they were a bunch of entitled nobodies that cried for the attention they didn’t deserve but inevitably got. His love and desire to associate himself with anyone significantly younger than himself sparked a curiosity in myself. So I decided to study his interaction with all manner of toddlers and babies, to see what it was that got him so high. When I saw it, I was intrigued. Being the reason one without the ability to construct full sentences smile is not yet classified as a drug but it should be. I dedicate at least on Sunday morning every month to play with kids now – and it all started by seeing a good friend enjoying kids in my presence.

I’d always grown up knowing and understanding that honesty is the best policy but I never truly lived it out. I had a “gift”, I still do but I don’t use it anymore, to be able to concoct all manner of believable excuses for not doing something I was supposed to do. I’m not joking. Whenever I was caught doing something wrong or messed up, my impromptu stats would ratchet up to the maximum (100) and for that brief period my creative skills were unparalleled. I was ok with that because it got me out of trouble. I for example have never been in a fight because my intelligent mouth preserves me from being in trouble or being picked on. Yet Niki and Len helped shape my penchant for dishonesty or, for the sake of euphemism, curb my spontaneous creative ability. They were honest to a fault. “You stink, maybe change your deo.” “Those clothes don’t match you.” “You should work harder.” “Why do you eat so much crap?” I used to think preserving someone’s feelings superior to telling them the truth. Spending time with the twins made me value honesty over being “nice”. In the long run, people are more trusting of my words now because they know I will not twist them for any agenda.

Lastly, my good friend Salman let me in on a little project he was working on which led me to pursue my own ambitions of writing a collection of short stories. If I hadn’t seen Salman work on something diligently and behind the scenes, I might not have had the impetus to do what I knew needed to be done. Unrealistically Plausible Short Stories would not be a thing. But it was, it is, all because I came into contact with someone that inspired the right ideas at the right time.

What is it that you want to achieve? Do you know someone who already has that in their locker? I challenge you to spend time with them and see what change you’ll experience in your life.

Take care!