You ever do something you look back at a couple minutes after you’ve done it, and ask yourself, “Why in the world did I do that?” No? Me neither.
Sarcasm aside today I had the privilege of teaching myself a lesson in humility and an aspect of good leadership: the ability to delegate. I was hauling a heavy load from the car full of things that… never mind about all that, the bottom line is the load was heavy, that’s all you need to know. If you know me, you’ll know I never liked weights, or the gym. As a result (shockingly) I’m never the most muscular guy in the room, heck that’s true even if I’m the only guy in the room. The thing is I’d single-handedly put this darn suitcase in the car by myself the first time around. Why would I need help bringing it back down? Unfortunately there’s already a misconception in that statement. When I was bringing it down my mind was so fixated on the high I got from putting the massive load in the car in the first place that I had forgotten how hard it was to do on my own. When offloading the monstrously large case I was in the presence of two other able young men who were waiting around to help. A leader or anyone with a sizeable amount of reason would have used the otherworldly magical ability often known as “language” to “communicate” to the young men and “ask” for “help”. Now I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, indeed these are extremely complex terms – but I didn’t ask for assistance and I busted my ass trying to get said enormous shipment to its destination. Surprise surprise, when I managed it I didn’t feel the rush of accomplishment of having moved the gargantuan cargo further than I had initially (in front of a crowd no less). There was no rush of excitement; no cerebral applause accompanied my ragged panting. There was none of that – only back pain.
Don’t you just get so annoyed when people show off? I do. A lot actually. I grow very annoyed at the beginning – it’s both intense and internal – then I’m at peace again afterwards. I let it go after telling myself that they don’t know what they’re doing.
I do wish I was always calm and nothing ever annoyed me but show-offs do… then when I found out I was one of them (albeit unconsciously) I was shaken to the core!
“I show off?” I asked increduoulsy.
Couldn’t believe it! So I started paying closer attention to myself… eventually I started noticing when I did.
What helped pick it up was that I was blessed with people that would let me know when I was doing something wrong (only after I’d given them permission to share such opinions… that makes me sound intimidating doesn’t it? But I’m a nice guy. Believe me.)
I got the hang of knowing when this awful behaviour would happen. Turns out there was a common theme.
I would show off with things that were given to me in some shape or form.
That’s stupid isn’t it? Well I came to realise that I came with nothing into this world… so everything that I have/had was given to me by someone else. Everything I’ve achieved is through someone else’s help whether I acknowledge it or not. So I have no right! I never did. Neither does anybody else… no right at all to show off.
“But it was all me. I worked for this so I can show it off.” I hear you say it. Don’t act like you don’t. Well at the very root of it all you’re a grown zygote that originated from a male and female, then there’s even more to that equation. Time to be grateful as well as humble.
But you still want to show off your ability. We’re ambitious us humans, we have an ego. I know that… I feel you. Lucky for you there’s a right way to show off. How? Well – not showing off. I know it sounds ludicrous but stop for a second and listen to this simple instruction.
Don’t toot your own horn. (Except perhaps as a confidence booster within yourself when you really need it.)
Work as best you can to perfect your talent in whatever role you play… once you do that – someone will inevitably do the tooting for you. And trust me, they’ll do so much – MUCH better than you ever could.