A Bit Odd? Yes! (Dry Cleaning)

I watch the washing machine do it’s work.

That’s my entertainment.

The sounds and vibrations they sooth me.

They are a heartbeat – after a thousand Redbulls!

Thump thump. Thump Thump! THUMP THUMP!

The clothes pick up pace! Swirling in dirt and waste…

Then – soapy bubbles!

“Bloop bloop!”

I didn’t make that sound.

Not out loud… did I?

Of course I did!

So I walk away from the other fella in the room.

Dry clean washing is over.

PS The clothes get wet; why is it even called dry cleaning? It better not be a dry joke.

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I AM Crazy… What’s The Problem?

After chilling on this beautiful planet for just about two decades, interacting with beings that look like me, opposable thumbs and all , one would think that I would know the social norms and adhere to them. Turns out that isn’t the case. Actually, it isn’t the case with several other humans as well. I decided to call the term “normalcy” into question when I was reproached, albeit non-verbally, for speaking aloud while alone… you know, because somebody you’ve never met decided it was weird.

Speaking aloud when alone makes you crazy

I decided to do some research on the signs of craziness, more politely known as mental illness. According to webmd.com (I don’t know how reputable they are but their website was at the top of the results of a quick Google search) the signs for mental illness include:

  • Confused thinking
  • Long-lasting sadness or irritability
  • Extremely high and low moods
  • Excessive fear, worry, or anxiety
  • Social withdrawal
  • Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
  • Strong feelings of anger
  • Delusions or hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not really there)
  • Increasing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
  • Thoughts of suicide
  • Denial of obvious problems
  • Many unexplained physical problems
  • Abuse of drugs and/or alcohol

I don’t know how I feel about this list. I’ve read it over a couple of times and I wish I could say that it’s totally bonkers. Unfortunately that would mean I’m proving the third last statement correct. I’m going to go through each of the points and briefly mention what I think.

Ok, look… Maybe it’s just me but I always assumed that people, especially those transitioning through uncertain periods of their lives, like I am at the moment, experience all of these rarely, often or on a daily basis (depending on the person) and it’s absolutely normal. Isn’t it? I am confused at certain periods. Who doesn’t ever get confused? Next up, sadness and irritability… some dude probably thought of a misogynistic joke right now (shame on you) but don’t we all experience those? Aren’t they a part of our emotional spectrum? Excessive fear… “excessive” compared to what exactly? Normal people? Social withdrawal… no comment. Dramatic changes in eating and sleeping habits – two words – college student. Strong feelings of anger – one word – tuition. Delusions and hallucinations? Others argue that life itself is some kind of a hallucination, that hopes and dreams are delusions because face it, how many people get to achieve what they dream? Does that make it a delusion? Dreaming or imagining something that doesn’t/probably won’t ever happen? Daily problems aren’t easy to solve. Hence the term “problem”. I think it makes sense to not be able to cope… unless it’s math… then again it still makes sense because math can be hard. Thoughts of suicide – again, no comment… actually I will comment. If you never think of committing suicide, hat off to you mate! Denial of obvious problems – watch any movie ever and tell me that that isn’t a part of human nature. Unexplained physical problems? Answer: Puberty. Last but not least, abuse of drugs. That makes most of the UK crazy by definition. Also, sleep is not a drug but if it was (were?) I certainly abuse it alright.

Let’s face it, if this was a test then I would have failed miserably. Looking at this checklist I’m definitely “crazy”. Perhaps I’m reading the bullet points out of context. Maybe I’m confused/deluded. To be honest I don’t know what I feel about this anymore. At least I can say that talking to oneself aloud isn’t on the list in spite of the assumption that many “crazy” people share that trait.

One thing that I would like to get across: crazy/weird is whatever strays from the mean. If you aren’t like everybody else then there has to be something wrong with you – that’s the general consensus. But who is the standard? Who sets the standard for what is normal? What did they do to earn that right?

In my honest opinion, as long as you hurt nobody, including yourself – it really doesn’t matter… just do you.

That Awkward Moment When Romcoms Are Better Than Real Life

‘That Awkward Moment’ was lovely as hell… well, if hell was lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie after what was probably my fourth time viewing. The banter… the writers need to be paid double whatever they earned for their fine work. If I had a friend who had the verbal prowess of any of the three main characters, portrayed by Zac Efron, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan, I’d immediately ask for their hand in marriage, be they female or otherwise. And Imogen Poots… my word! Her character was gifted with the perfect measure of quirkiness, wit and authenticity. She was unbelievably cool. If she were real and if we met, it would be love at first sight, at least from my point of view.

In all honesty I fell in love with the characters in the movie, so much so that I had that pang of disappointment when I knew the end was fast approaching. I know that at times it’s cheesy, I know that it’s almost impossible to experience anything similar in real life, I know they swear a lot more than is acceptable but that’s what makes it so wonderful – it’s different from what I encounter every other day. That’s what makes it better.

Now hold up. Why is a romcom, a ROMCOM better than real life? I guess that’s what it’s meant to be. There’s a sad period in most romcoms somewhere but there’s almost always a happy ending. The best part being that the happy ending is achieved in under 2 hours. Real happy endings take a very long time, freaking forever. It’s not even funny. So I guess that’s one of the reasons romcoms are amazing.

There’s also the idea that every protagonist nearly always finds “the One”. If I can remember the Zac Efron line that brought out the inner girl in me it went something like:

“I wasn’t afraid because I thought she wasn’t the one… I was absolutely terrified because I knew she was.”

I mean come on! Doesn’t that just make your spine quiver? There was even a major arc in this movie dedicated to MBJ’s happily ever interrupted by a gruesome divorce… Yet they still find a way to make the movie have a happy ending for everyone involved. How? Why must the ideal and the real be so damn parallel? The author of life surely didn’t intend for it to be this way?

Books and movies and novels are meant to inspire us by letting us know what could be. Key words: what could be. It should be possible to have conversations filled with great banter. “The One” should exist for every single one of us. Life should work out but it very often doesn’t. Why is that the story of humanity? Please make life better than a romcom. That’s all the girl in me really wants LOL.

Thing is; we can do it… we really can! All we need is to cast aside the masks that we wear. All we need is to be the diverse beings we truly are and stop trying to be like that ideal person because newsflash, the ideal person doesn’t exist. Ideal self does. And if everyone was their ideal self then… then we’d be talking. Then we’d be on our way to that world whose script is a reputable number of times better than the romcom I watched this evening. Then ‘That Awkward Moment’ wouldn’t be better than real life, and that would be awesome.

Different

My eyes are aching… I should be sleeping but I’m not.

I’m some kind of rebel – you could say that I’m some kind of rot.

A dent on the body of the being they call “normal”

I guess it’s ok coz weird is what I call normal.

I’d rather die, jump off of a building so I could fly

For a little then die than just get by

Doing nothing awesome, doing nothing at all inspiring

Because trying to fit in is only much more tiring

Than being different – which is what we were meant to be.

What we need to be; to be truly free.

We’re all unique, more so than our fingerprints.

Like it  or not, each one of us is totally different.