In My Head

I think about you constantly.

You’re in my head incessantly.

Thoughts of you – necessity.

I know now that certainly,

You will be the end of me.

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Rejected

“Unfortunately you’re not what we’re looking for at the moment.”

“You have shown great credentials but unfortunately you will not be…”

“You’re great but…”

No.

 

Rejection sucks! There’s nothing like giving your best or opening yourself up only to have someone else decide you’re not good enough. Very few of us take rejection well, I’m definitely still learning and have a lot more to do but I’ve been given some advice that has helped make it easier. It’s still pretty damn hard though.

Rejection comes in all forms… maybe even literal ones. You apply for a job, scholarship, internship, raffle prize – and you’re told you won’t be receiving it. Sometimes you don’t even get that courtesy and you’re left guessing for ages until you figure out that it was a “no”. Humans don’t like hearing that, “no”. It hurts. How most people circumvent the painful feelings is by saying things like, “I never wanted it anyway.” or even “I’m too good for that place.” Although it may numb the heart a bit to the pain, this is one of the worst ways we can react. It is widely accepted that a key component of growth is, ironically, acceptance. You know who reacts badly when not getting what they want, every single time? Babies. As we grow we have to learn that sometimes things don’t always go our way. At some point in your life you will get rejected. #Fact

I guess rejection helps give life purpose. If you had everything at your disposal at all times, with no effort required – what would be the point? I know you’re probably saying “I’d rather have things fall on my lap all the time than feel the sting of rejection even once,” I sympathise with you even as I type this, but I believe it’s something programmed deep inside of us that makes us want to succeed and break barriers. How can you succeed when there is no competition, no opposition? What barriers are you breaking when everything goes your way instantly?

The good thing is this and I’ll ask that you hold on to it.

‘Rejection will let you know that you are aiming high enough’.

If everything is moving smoothly without a hitch then you aren’t extending yourself. It’s like going to the gym and doing a session with 50 g masses. It will be easy to do because it’s not hard for your body. The heavier the weight the more difficult it is to complete sets. You know you’re at your level when you can just about finish/fail to finish. Anything less is too lightweight for you. So rejoice for a little rejection, you’re in good company.

Then comes the matters of the heart. I so wish that love was a feeling that one could concoct in a pot and dish out at parties. I wish cupid actually existed and would shoot love arrows at whoever you aimed at. But that’s not how things work, those are just wishes. Regarding this sensitive issue, there are several definitions of love. I have one that I think is consistent with how people that say they love each other act (or should act). Here it is:

Love is wanting to do what’s best for someone at all times. Love is a choice, not a feeling that just magically happens.

If love is a choice, if you have to choose to do the very best for someone at all times then surely you can choose not to? As beings of free will we deal with choices daily and therein lies the conflict. I could want to do the very best for you, always… sometimes you may even know it, but you just won’t have it. It’s your choice. You may be the best thing for said person in the whole wide world – but even though we know broccoli is really good for us, many people still despise it.

So sometimes you will get rejected. If there’s anything you’re going to take from this blog post, take that! Everyone gets rejected. Even though you may feel like you’re alone – like your pain is your own and no one else feels like you do, the person you’re looking up to right now was rejected one way or another. This should help you to move on and try again with even more zeal, more enthusiasm. The feelings of pain and frustration, use  them to motivate you so that you don’t feel the same way again. After rejection ask yourself these 3 questions:

  • “What is it I can improve?”
  • “Am I the reason for this rejection?”
  • “Is it worth trying again?”

The last one is a bit tricky but unfortunately sometimes we reach that crossroads when we need to know to let something go, especially when it comes to relationships. Human beings are stubborn creatures, sometimes they won’t budge no matter how much you shower them with love and attention. It’s funny how a majority of us are attracted to those who don’t care at all about us and sometimes don’t even acknowledge our existence yet there’s someone out there willing to love you as much as you’re willing to love your “crush”.

In the end, failure or rejection doesn’t define you. ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ It’s not that you were rejected that matters… It’s all about what you do after.

 

My Baby

My blog, my baby… I haven’t really been taking care of it. At 21 years old it seems I’ve been a very bad parent. I haven’t taken care of the thing that I have treasured, something I have brought into this earth.

How can one be so irresponsible? Do I even have a heart? It is never ok for one to only care halfway; it is better not to have cared at all. Maybe it’s immaturity, maybe I had her too young… no. That can’t be it. Others have given birth to blogs a lot younger and done well. I cannot use my age as an excuse. Besides, as age goes, I am considered a man now, I cannot hide behind my age.

“Well she doesn’t love me back,” I think, “She doesn’t make it easy for me!”

Maybe if she fed my ego with more follows, likes and comments I’d tend to her daily. Maybe if she showed me a little more respect. HAH! That’s not good enough either. Taking care of a human baby is a pain. All they do is take… but babies know no better, it’s only when they are older that they even think about giving affection. So only when my baby is older will she give back my affection. All I can do is feed her – right now it’s all about what I can give to her. The fact that she’s even around should be enough for me to give her my attention, she’s mine! My baby… mine.

a flip switches in my mind

I don’t ever want to neglect you. Never again! I heard you crying and I ignored it. I chose to sleep instead… anything but be the responsible father I promised you I would be when I brought you into this world. Yet you kept on crying. Your soft whimpers drew me close once more; and here I am. Daddy’s back.

Look at the instant smile on your face! You’re giggling already? The sun breaks through the wall of clouds. My heart melts and I break down. You’ve already forgiven me in spite of days of neglect? If everyone was like you this world would be so much better than it is. Seeing you smile has given me life, your welcome has spurred me on. I will take care of you. I will no longer neglect you. So keep smiling baby girl! My baby… mine. Daddy’s back… and he’s here to stay.