Mr. Jump to Conclusions

Approx 1.5 min read

If I had a superpower this would probably be it. For a while I was referred to as “Mr. Jump-To-Conclusions” in my inner circles.  I blame my insatiable appetite for novels, especially those in the fantasy genre, for giving me the extraordinary ability to convert a few words into schemes and ideas that had nothing to do with the original intent… Fiction of the highest order. No wonder my communication skills had to develop, and fast! Otherwise I’d have probably jumped to my death (socially and otherwise).

So, since you’re talking to the master, the equivalent of Dr. Stranger’s Ancient One in this subject (lotsa love Tilda Swinton!) you must want to know how to avoid jumping to conclusions.

The first thing you have to master is to mean what you say and say only what you mean. That way those around you will know, “Oh when X (insert your name where X is) says this, that’s exactly what they mean so I should not make any added assumptions.” Don’t get into the habit of changing your mind all the time or having wishy washy principles. All the does is give people leeway to make decisions on your behalf, assuming they’re doing so with your interests at heart. The result is a lot of, “Well I thought… Based on…”

Secondly, one great way to avoid yourself or someone else jumping to conclusions is to provide clarity. When faced with something that leaves room for your imagination to wander I suggest going back to the person and using the phrase, “When you said this, did you mean…?” You’ll be surprised how often you may misinterpret what was originally said. Yes it is a slower means to get things across because it requires feedback from the other side of the conversation – but the clarity that comes with it saves a lot of time and frustration that would result from a misunderstanding, miscommunication or just plain jumping to conclusions.

See y’all!

Stay awesome

Quality >>>

Less than one minute read

“And also!” Ding ding ding. You’ve just lost. What am I talking about? Your afterthought doesn’t have the impact all the other words you said prior did. This is something I can finally say I’ve practised in my life and seen it work wonders.

As someone who thought a good friendship meant long ass conversations everyday for a long time I feel qualified to let you know. STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! 

It’s not the quantity that matters insomuch as it is the quality.

Don’t fall into the trap of confusing the two. Find out why some kids run to that parent when they get home from work yet they don’t run to the person they’ve stayed with the whole time.

There is a time and a place for everything including small talk. Move away from conversations designed to take up time and move towards constructive, challenging conversation that will build both you and the person you’re talking to.

“It’s not easy to come up with something profound to say everyday,” you may whine. That’s good. And it’s also correct. It is hard. There is an antidote for it though.

You ready?

Read!

Hahaha #harsh

See you tomorrow!

Stay awesome.

From The Depths Of The Heart The Mouth Speaks

Less than 1 min read

From The Depths Of The Heart The Mouth Speaks

This is such a simple yet profound truth. Garbage in = garbage out. Feed your heart with light and you’ll flood the world with brightness. Feed your heart with darkness and you’ll be a gloomy presence that spews hurtful garbage from what’s supposed to be a gift – your mouth.

I appreciate you working out for the benefit of your physique but if you will take my advice, please work on that inner part of yourself, your heart, even more.

PS said with all the love in the world.

See you tomorrow!

Stay awesome.

Power Of A Smile

Approx 2 min read

“Imagine resolving to be consistent then failing to live up to that resolve a mere couple of days afterwards. That’s me,” I smile. “Sorry.”

And with that I am instantly forgiven. In part it’s because you all have such generous hearts; hearts that dispense kindness in equal proportion to how the world dispenses cruelty. Whoa there! Let’s not get dark. (That wasn’t a complexion joke by the way that was… Ayanda proceeds to bin himself.)

Let’s try this again, shall we?


Hey there you wonderful human being you! It’s me and we’re back at it! Communication, words and all. Today I am going to introduce someone to you that you really need no introduction to. Her name is ‘Smile’ and she’s absolutely gorgeous.

I’ve been told never to tell a woman to smile, unless I’m behind a camera and she’s asked me to take a picture of her. It’s rude. I get it, no one likes being told what to do especially when they are capable of making rational decisions themselves. Yet that does not diminish the power of the thing being requested. A smile can melt hearts, it can make someone reach into their wallet unconsciously, it can make people give way and it can make someone smile in turn. A smile can communicate strength. Sometimes your smile will say, “What you’ve said didn’t hurt my feelings at all, try again sucker!” It can ward off people who sought to bully you.

With a smile you already attain the most vital component of diplomacy, which if perfected (and we will touch on this topic in episodes to come) will have you telling someone to, “Go to hell,” in such a way that they will desire to do so – gladly.

But that’s a topic for a different day.

There is a connection between internal feelings and external expressions.

Ever tried the other way round? Smiling on purpose to help you with your internal mood? No? Do you think it’s worth a crack? (Get it? Oh man… I need to stop reading all these dad jokes.)

The smile is so powerful it can leave a lasting impression on someone for years to come.

Don’t believe me?

Well…

joker-smile-white-400x400

I for one will never forget that smile.

See ya tomorrow! (hopefully XD)

Stay awesome.

 

Who’s Smiling

Approx 1 min read

So we know now that communication isn’t solely based on the words that we use. There’s a bunch of cues we give off unconsciously that can be interpreted as signals of intent. I suggest taking the time to read about these signals and understand them. There’s tutorials given by FBI agents which you can find with a quick search on the internet. I recommend also subscribing to the YouTube channel Charisma On Command. The originators have my deepest respect because while I was thinking about the idea they went ahead and turned it into reality, now their channel has a deservedly large following with over 3 million subscribers.

Are you in a group of people and trying to find out who’s interested in you? Well good for you, there’s cues that can help you find out pretty quickly. Next time someone cracks a funny joke in that gathering, follow people’s eyes. The first person we look at when we’re laughing in a crowd of people is often the one we like the most. We do so to make sure they’re laughing too. It’s instinctive. It’s also brilliant because it’s a hack we can use for our benefit.

There’s many more things that can be grasped from communication beyond words.

Have a look at that channel and let me know what you think in the comments.

Until tomorrow…

Stay awesome.

Parachute Patience Is A Virtue

Approx 1.5 min read

Lips barely opened, I leapt off the edge.

Like a missile bound solely to destroy. Your words were weighty with wisdom; the parachute (in my haste) left behind.

The fast approaching ground is my life, green, luscious, alive – for now.

At least until my imminent crash…

Explosion!

I will be honest (as ever). The art of listening is something I’m still working on, especially when it’s in line with being corrected. (Ugh!t Why can’t I be is right all the time?) There  this no denying though listening is perhaps the most essential aspect of being a good communicator. For one thing, it helps prevent saying dumb stuff.

Simple advice to prevent yourself from saying things you might regret. So simple in  fact you’ve heard it before. Ready? Count to ten. That’s it. Do the count as slowly as you’re willing. This will help with a few things.

One, the urge to blurt out the first thing you wanted to say (instinctive emotional reaction) should have subsided. Two, you are better able to frame your response intelligently. Three, the person on the receiving end will be forced to acknowledge that you think before you speak and by the “monkey see monkey do” principle will feel pressured to do the same. Lastly, the intensity of your reaction decreases and leans towards being calm. You make decisions you’re least likely to regret when you’re calm.

It’s hard work but the benefits outweigh the pain so much that I have decided to write about it. It will impact your life positively.

As ever, I challenge you. Don’t just believe me, try it yourself.

See you tomorrow!

Stay awesome.

Sorry, Please, Thank You

Approx one minute read

4 legendary words with the power to heal that surpasses that of any doctor you’ve ever come across. 4 legendary words that can be a game changer, that can open doors for you no amount of begging can. 4 legendary words that make you instantly likeable, that make people enjoy doing things on your behalf and relating with you even when you mess up. 4 incredibly simple yet incredibly essential words. You just have to use them as often as they are applicable. Watch and see them work miracles.

Sorry for the relatively late post today. Please do share these legendary words with those you think need them.

Thank you for your time.

Tomorrow!

Stay awesome.