Aka Unannounced Hiatus
Approx 2 min read
Say you meet someone and your first impression of them is amazing. Maybe you exchange numbers or add each other on social media accounts. After all, where’s the harm in that? Then the novelty does off or maybe they’ve sent an opening message that didn’t resonate with you. What next? Maybe you think to yourself, I don’t think I want to spend more time in this whatever type of ship it might be. What next? What do people do when they want to run? There’s a common consensus and it goes like this:
I’ll stop talking to them. Maybe they’ll get the hint.
We call this “ghosting”. Why? Why do we do this? What message is someone supposed to get if you avoid them?
Humans are designed to seek out the people they love and need in their life and communicate with them.
You see this in high school movies. When people go to the cafeteria they will sit in certain groups. Why would that be necessary? Aren’t they just eating? Humans desire to be with their people. If you don’t sit at my table I’m therefore entitled to think 2 things. One, that you’re not my people or two, that there’s other people you consider to be more of your people than me.
So what’s the point of this? Well this serves as a warning. If you deliberately (or accidentally) stop talking to your people you allow them to come up with assumptions as to why you’re not talking to them… jumping to conclusions you might day. We use “ghosting” as a tactic to ward off wannabe suitors or someone you don’t want to be your friend who is trying to be your bestie. It’s human to assume when someone apparently stops trying to talk to you, they don’t want you in their life.
With that in mind – don’t accidentally ghost your people or else you might accidentally lose them. Trust. As a the king of the unannounced hiatus, this is one of thing I know very well.
See ya tomorrow!