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Oh this isn’t clickbait, this actually happened. I’m only 23 but I gotta say I’ve lived a full life, riddled with memorable, unforeseeable events. Yes indeed – I was dumped by someone I wasn’t hitting on. With this we kick off our series on Communication.
Dr. Ed Louis Cole said “communication is the basis of life”. He was right.
Communication is how we transmit feelings, ideas and information to others.
We are relational beings and the success of a relationship is strongly tied to how well communication is done. There’s 5 kinds of communication: no communication (self explanatory), little communication, over-communication (also known as TMI), poor communication and good communication. We’ll subdivide these even more later on.
We often fall into the trap of thinking that communication is solely the words we speak but our gestures are very important too. I’m sure you’ve heard about good posture and other pointers when trying to project confidence. Certain behaviours give away more than what words could say – with this I’ll lead into the misunderstanding that occurred.
Now at some point in my more impressionable age someone I looked up to told me that I should treat women the same way I treat my sister, or at least the same way I would like to have my sister treated by others. This stuck, primarily because of my well-published affection for my only sibling and this kickstarted a series of faux pas on my part that led to a phone call ending with me being dumped (by someone I wasn’t hitting on). I thought the things I had been doing were standard behaviour: opening the door, giving up my seat, coaxing confidence in adverse situations and giving praise when I was genuinely impressed.
All of these are gestures that can in fact have meaning behind them about how someone feels towards you – they can also simply be an indication of how one was raised. I fell into the latter category.
The good thing is, I wasn’t (overly) embarrassed, the full story brings a lot of laughter to a lot of people and it taught me a valuable lesson:
Communication isn’t just about what I do. It’s about what the person on the receiving end perceives.
We have a lot of things to unpack in the chapter including how to tell if someone likes you when you’re laughing at a table, how to get better at saying what you want to say, and mustering the confidence to speak your mind. So be excited. I certainly am.
Do share this post with your friends, family or your crush (if you want them to take a hint).
(To the crushes out there, TAKE A HINT!)
See you tomorrow.