It Ain’t Easy

It’s ain’t easy. You expect me to fly when my wings have no feathers and I am tethered to the ground by the weight of my failures and the failures of those before me. My duty is to see past my flaws, deny myself and crucify my flesh daily, to lay down my life for you and your mother, to provide a fertile environment for your growth while I stifle my own. I too have dreams son; don’t for one second think that because I am laying them aside for you I do not care about them. To the contrary; I care about the things I put up on my vision board when I was 5. I care about the moments spent imagining myself on elevated stages, collecting awards on podiums and receiving keys to cities from leading men. I still have a burning desire to be considered as an unforgettable human being, to have my memory live on long after I am gone. That burning desire still consumes me, it hasn’t died. In fact, as I type away, fingers waging a war of attrition against the stiff buttons on this old keyboard in this dull office – the flame rages on. The further away I slide from my aspirations, the more my soul yearns for them. Don’t be fooled by my poker face, don’t fall for this blank expression. A passionate young man resides within me even now. I don’t lay down my dreams because they are irrelevant to me. I don’t brush them aside because they do not matter. Understand this son – I do so because you matter. By my decision, by my choice, by my will – I crucify my dreams so that yours may be realised. It’s not pretty and it’s downright thankless; just look at how you respond to my rebukes – but I’ll do it anyway, a million times over, until I physically can’t any longer. This is how I envision a father and this is what I aspire to be. This is my ultimate dream now. And I know this: it ain’t easy – but it’s worth it.

Father’s Day Tribute

One thought on “It Ain’t Easy

  1. When I was a child, it never crossed my mind that my parents might have dreams of their own apart from me. When I became a parent, I begin to see them as people, separate from me, and I realized how much they sacrificed for my siblings and me.
    Beautiful, insightful writing…♥️🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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