No Woody!

Woody Harrelson. So I decided to take an 81 min break and watch a movie. The movie is Zombieland, incredibly violent, asinine, funny as can be and an absolutely awful watch when you’re having dinner (which I was).

Woody isn’t the protagonist but he absolutely steals the show. His character isn’t witty… it isn’t meant to be. He’s just absolutely genuine and genuinely idiotic. But the moment that takes the cake is when he turns into the the world’s best anti-wingman. My man Jesse isn’t even aiming to get laid. All he wanted to do in this life was brush aside some hair. That was his life purpose – much like Woody and his Twinkie. Yet when the opportunity finally arose for the boy to sorta become a man, albeit a hair-caressing one, I found myself screaming:

“No Woody!”

Gotta love the man.

23 October

Morocco and Saudi sure made something special.

Unlike this rap, which is audible ether.

You on the other hand are a lyrical miracle.

“Pew pew” is the start, “pew pew” ain’t your pinnacle.

“I ain’t got friends.” That’s what you said.

Perhaps that’s true and my name’s Jed.

Honestly though, you really don’t got homies.

Just an army devoted to you – your very own cronies.

What else ends with -onies?

Uhm… Pink plumed ponies!

Even if they’re beaten and they’re gory and red.

Your enemies better run scared.

Coz at the flip of a switch they’ll be right there.

Except for me… I’ll prolly be late.

But don’t sweat it, I’ll bring a machete.

Or come swinging my Helicopter Richard tiny though it may be.

This is my blessing to you on this day.

It won’t be deep… But it’ll prolly be gay.

Your star sign’s Success.

You’re failure’s biggest nightmare.

Dream to infinity and beyond,

Cause you’re A Baz Lightyear.

Smile. Laugh. Sing.

Smile. Laugh. Sing.

Cry tears of joy, you deserve them.

Let the giggles out, why preserve them?

Why lock them up? Why detain them?

Time to trump stress! Cause some mayhem!

Stretch those lips out as wide as you can.

Let’s see them pearly whites.

Or sunshine yellows…

Hahaha! They’re still alright.

Now bellow my fellow!

Let them know you’ll be here tomorrow.

That sadness won’t keep you feeling hollow.

That you every time you’ll choose joy over sorrow.

That you won’t ever let stress gain control.

That no matter what happens you’ll still:

Smile. Laugh. Sing.

Maybe even cry tears of joy.

 

🙂

Good Pain

From the balls of my feet to the nape of my neck is a low-burning sensation. With each motion (more likely attempted motion) the flames are stoked and burn brightly. My limbs have been rendered near useless. I feel as if my bones have transformed into jelly – my muscle fibres into marshmallow. Sitting up my lower back screams at me, crying tears of sweat for the slowest motion. As I lie down again my calves beg for relief. Just one session of parkour, “just a taster” they said and I feel I’ve had my fill for seven generations. And yet I absolutely loved it. I’m no masochist but I’ve never felt better. Each step takes more effort than the last. At times I feel as though I’m one hundred years older; putting on clothes or getting out of bed feel like impossible tasks. But each time I manage to do something, even the really simple things, the euphoria kicks in. I have gained a greater appreciation for every part of my body – because at long last I now feel every part of that body. Oh it’s pain alright… but it’s so damn good… it’s good pain.

Perhaps I should have listened to myself and one funny brunette I know. Maybe I should frequent the best place for my body, the secret the world would love to hear about; in her own words: “Gym!” 

Or maybe I’ll go back to the parkour session next week. Maybe I’ll shake off the cobwebs in my underused muscles and awaken them with a sweet, sweet dose of good old pain.

Man O’ My Word aka Be My Hammer, I’ll Be Your Thor

Dear Blog,

 

Hey you! Yes you! Haven’t you heard?

You can count on me – I’m a man o’ my word.

And you’ll believe it, coz I’ve said it, then it’s gotta be true.

You won’t believe me? Fine then – believe you!

You say it more than I do, I know it sounds absurd.

“Ayanda Joe Munikwa, you’re a man o’ your word!”

 

Maybe if we say it enough times it’ll finally happen.

Coz the sheer number of promises I’ve been snapping is amazing!

Now I’m not making excuses, I put that PhD to the side.

I laid down my pride and decided I wouldn’t ever lie.

Even if it’ll save me trouble later, better to stay humble now.

I don’t want to stumble so I’ll mumble, goo goo gaga, ciao.

 

In the future, even now, trust is gold.

So I’m sorry I’ve been missing truth be told.

I said I’d take care of you. I didn’t even forget!

The truth of it is I just chose to neglect…

 

But I’m a man o’ my word. That’s what we said!

So I think it’s time we finally prepared,

For a rollercoaster ride like never before!

Where you will be my hammer and I’ll be your Thor!

Love,

Joe